The Fog /La Niebla

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How often do we allow ourselves to see through the haze that dominates our lives? We are enveloped by a thick fog, layers upon layers of misery that seep out from nowhere.
They paralyze you, these layers. They remind you how useless you are. They feed off your insecurity.
They whisper in your mind’s ear all the times they told you that you’d fail. All the times they told you that you couldn’t do something because, well…you’re you. You know… too _____________ (fill in the blank).
They remind you of all the times your capacity and intentions were questioned. All the times your efforts were sabotaged because, you know…it’s just you. What did you expect? Support? For your outlandish ideas, your freakish dreams, your silly illusions? Seriously, support is for those that deserve it. The intelligent in-the-box people.
So your dreams languish, your capacities lie dormant. Some opportunities knock and leave because there was no one there to see them.
You waste years…time spent wondering if you were normal, if you’d ever be able to survive and earn a living like the rest of humanity. You cater to other people’s needs, let go of your own, stash them away where nobody can cackle them into oblivion.
Until you finally crack. You feel the fog thicken and menace to drag you into its realm of unbeing. You ask questions, but the answers are elusive. Your heart threatens to stab its way out of your body. Fear gnaws at your brain, paralysing you. Make peace with it. It will be your companion in your ups and downs through this valley of lost hope.
Why, oh why? Who but those that stand outside looking in would understand the howling of a wyrd green dog.? Only the wind hears.

¿Cuántas veces nos permitimos ver a través de la neblina que domina nuestras vidas? Nos envuelve una espesa niebla, capa sobre capa de miseria que brota de no se sabe dónde.
Te paralizan, esas capas. Te recuerdan lo inútil que eres. Se alimentan de tu inseguridad.
Le susurran al oído a tu mente todas las veces que tu capacidad e intenciones fueron cuestionadas. Todas las veces que tus esfuerzos fueron saboteados porque, ya sabes…solo eres tú. Demasiado __________ (rellena el espacio) ¿Acaso te esperabas algo? ¿Apoyo? ¿Para tus ideas estrambóticas, tus sueños extraños, tus tontas ilusiones? En serio, el apoyo es para los que lo merecen, la gente inteligentemente convencional.
Así que tus sueños languidecen, tus capacidades se adormecen. Algunas oportunidades llaman a la puerta y se van porque nadie las ve.
Pierdes años… tiempo que pasas preguntándote si serás normal, si alguna vez vas a ser capaz de ganarte la vida y salir adelante como el resto de la humanidad. Te encargas de las necesidades de los demás y dejas a las tuyas, guardándolas donde nadie las pueda cacarear hasta el infinito.
Hasta que revientas. Sientes que la niebla se espesa y amenaza con arrastrarte a su reino de irrealidad. Te haces preguntas pero las respuestas te eluden. Tu corazón se abre paso a dentelladas de tu cuerpo. El miedo te roe el cerebro, paralizándote. Haz las paces con él. Será tu compañía en los altibajos de este valle de esperanzas perdidas.
¿Por qué, Señor, por qué? ?Quién entenderá los aullidos de un perro verde? Salvo los que están fuera, en la periferia de la existencia, solo el viento.

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