Ten days, ten hours, twenty eight minutes.
That’s when my heart will start beating with joy again. I’ll have you back home and we will start to build the future we dream.
Naysayers will deny the evidence and try to explain away the reality of this love. They’ll say we’re too old and we’re being foolish. I couldn’t care less about being an aging fool as long as I’m with you.
One thing you learn as you age is that you need to discover your passions and go with them wherever they take you. You hear the clock ticking away and the awareness of the fleeting moments that you will never experience again.
I discovered decades ago that I wanted to write, that writing for me was a liberation from the drudgery of everyday life. Then life got itself in the way and I put it on the back burner, along with my other dreams, big and small.
But unfulfilled passions have a way of coming back to haunt you. They seep through the cracks and chinks in your armour and make you long for something you know exists but cannot explain with words.
You, my darling one, are the man I knew had to exist but had given up hope of finding. Wyrd green dogs don’t get to be loved in such a way, so tenderly and completely. So sure was I that I would never find you that it took time -months- to make me surrender to the inevitable.
It is at once scary and thrilling to love and be loved in the way we do. I can no more not love you than I can refuse to breathe. I’ve been told I radiate a glow of energy and happiness that is infectious. This love heals the scars from the past and gives me wings.
I try sometimes to take a step back and contemplate the splendour of this feeling. All I can see is how amazing it is, how unique and special. No wonder people can’t really understand it. There’s far too much cynicism in the world for most to believe that you can love and be loved for yourself alone, with all the intensity of youth and all the calm of maturity.
We are in no rush. We don’t need to prove anything to anyone.
All I want now is for these days to fly by and have you here again, with your beautiful eyes and the best hugs in the world.
The rest of the world can take a seat and watch how love is made, with every step and every word, every look. In a million ways.
Day by day.