One is stunned to hear certain opinions about the “Manada” rape case.(Pamplona, Navarre, July 2016). Apparently, the accused have asked that their privacy be respected until the trial ends, that their names and images are not published.
I wonder if they thought about that when they planned the rape of a girl and posted comments on their WhatsApp group; when they met the girl and saw how drunk she was and in spite of it, they went ahead; when they stripped her naked despite her protests and took her cell phone so she could not ask anyone for help; when they raped her one after the other without contemplation and took her silence as a sign of acceptance and not of excessive violence. I ask myself if they thought about their privacy or about the intimacy of the girl they were attacking then. Apparently, a person who has drunk more than they can handle and is aware of being wrestled around by several people will kick and scream, risk getting even more bruises or worse, and the aggressors will also allow it.
I wonder if the private detective who followed the girl, spied on her social networks, even investigated the images of security cameras on her street realized how insulting it is for a victim who, in addition to suffering the aggression, has to endure being investigated to the most intimate, to the deepest degree, down to a smile or a greeting to a friend in the street.
When is it supposed to be right to smile again? And to go out alone? Can you dare to talk to a man who is not your family? Can she wear normal clothes for a young girl, such as short skirts and a top, or shorts in summer, or should she be too discouraged and afraid she’d risk going through another violent trance? Now she’s not girlfriend or wife material because they’ve raped her, should she not go to parties, should she distrust men? Does she have to spend her life sunk in each and every aspect or can she, in a prudential time, return to being ‘normal’?
Surely if I had to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital there was going to be someone who was going to speak badly too: that it was not so bad, that the victim is just seeking pity, that there are people much worse off.
Telling the victim How to behave before, during and after an assault is at very least overbearing. Do they also tell people who have their wallet stolen at knife point or who have been swindled this? Do they tell those who lose a loved one tragically that they can no longer smile, that their life is over and that if they do not spend the rest of their days mired in sadness and pain, they do not feel it enough? Where is the difference? Who decides?
The difference is in sex: the sex of the person who suffers the crime, in this case. Anything, literally, that the victim does, says or shows can be and will be used against her to defend the subhumans who attacked her.
Before anyone jumps, I will say that after investigating the issue, most of the violence suffered by both women and men is caused by … men. If a man is attacked in any way, it is likely that another man is attacking him. That’s true in a ratio of 5 to 1. Men in general suffer more violence than women, but unlike women, their agressors are usually other men.
Women are punished with sex and for sex. It is a situation in which we cannot win. We are not believed either way. Male victims are often believed when they speak. For female victims, neither talking nor keeping quiet is helpful. Taking into account how difficult it is to open one’s mouth in a case of these, credibility should be a given and justice should act quickly to determine the facts.
Even as a victim there are double standards.
It seems that everything is contrived to silence the victim, lest they sully the name of the aggressor.
Finally, I wish to note that no matter how much I searched, there are no statistics available that support that beyond 2% of sexual assault allegations are false, including all the counterclaims for falsehood before it is decided for or against. It is a lot, yes, but against 98% that are founded, the figure is small. Two lives ruined against 98.
For my part, I always support victims regardless of gender or age, beliefs or nationality.